See the pattern. End the loop.

You are better than your previous self. Whenever you feel anger during a conversation, observe it as an outsider and see the pattern.

Actually, say the pattern in your head, just as it is:

I am blinded by my anger, because I don’t fully understand them

Repeating it with intent a few times can help you relax instantly.

And it’s crucial that you don’t leave the conversation there and that you take it to the next phase: Understanding where your interlocutor is coming from.

It’s important that you show them that you are calm and composed. Because you must be, at this point.

The goal is to have them share their reasoning so that you can have a constructive conversation.

And therein, lie two lessons:

  • Anger is unnecessary
  • No assumptions: Don’t THINK you understand your interlocutor, KNOW you understand them

This, is effective communication.

You just ended the loop.